Putting the blinkers on to people’s negativity
Lately I’ve had the opportunity to prioritise myself. Something I never do, but something that was so essential. I resigned from my job in November with no real next step planned and lots of ideas. Now, nearly three months on, I have many next steps and many more ideas. I’m relatively unprepared for what’s about to happen in my life and feeling uncharacteristically calm.
Often I wonder if I have a clue what I’m doing, am I in any way qualified to do this, if I’m feeling so good now, does that just mean I’m in for a greater fall? The trouble with these thoughts is, that if you keep them, they’ll define you. Whereas if you argue them in your own head, or on paper, you can stop them from defining your next step and leading to prolonged anxiety.
I say this, but only now that I actually want to make these next steps work have I been able to ease my anxious thoughts. Before, no matter how much I tried, they would just build and cause my stress levels to rocket.
I feel a lot of this has to do with making lots of small, proactive and positive choices to move my life in the right direction lately.
Assess what makes me happy
Consider the ways to build that into my life
Do not rush into any decisions
Take a break (Christmas, holiday, afternoon at the sea)
Don’t engage in other people’s bitching and negativity
Think about one step at a time, not the full picture
Get a mentor
Buy a diary/notebook
What type – strongman
How: PT course > sign up > do course
Assess network – reach out
Take days off – Thursday is a rest day from training, therefore it is a rest day from everything, full mental and physical switch off day: do something fun outside of the norm with friends, or have a bath and a face mask and unwind
Every now and again, come back to the big picture and check the little steps are totting up to get you where you want to be
Probably have a mini freak out
Then likely be proud of myself
Then battle some imposter syndrome
Then realise I’m being stupid and move on with more of the small steps
Talk to people, get out of your own head, regularly
Find your best girl gang and share. The more you bottle up your thoughts (positive or negative or neutral) the more they’ll eat away and cause overwhelm
The two things I think have made the biggest difference in my life are simple. For a start, I love thinking of the big picture but I appreciate the little things that go into making it possible. I all too often get hung up on regularly assessing where I am in the process to achieve it, instead of looking at one small step at a time. Little actions make a big difference over time.
The other is, not engaging in bitching and negativity. There is only so much we can do. The more we surround ourselves with negative people, the more that infiltrates our own thoughts.
In some ways I am starting to realise and appreciate the truth in surrounding yourself with people that are better than you at things you aspire to do well. It comes down to surrounding yourself with people that behave in a certain way. It is doing the small things that build up to being the person you want to be. If you don’t identify what you want and you don’t change anything, then how can you expect to have the outcome that you want?
In the last year or two I have made some really incredible friends and they are some of the most positive people I know. But not only that, they are realistic and down to earth. It’s not like you have to be high as a kite and airy fairy to be positive, but you don’t have to let being realistic dull your sparkle.
Being around these people has made me think when I’m stressed, what would *insert name* do or suggest if we were chatting about this, or if they were having this same challenge. Then I feel calmer, I can think rationally. Often, I consider how I would want those people to perceive me in a situation when I was overwhelmed and I behave in that way, rather than the hot head I can be, sat at my desk seeing red.
I am channelling the change I want in my life and I hope that by thinking about breaking it down into little steps, you too can think more clearly and get closer to the life that makes you happy.
“You are the average of the five (5) people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn